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It’s a Boy!!!

OH BOY! OH BOY! OH BOY!
Once there was a boy who met a girl.
SEVERAL months later, boy asked girl out. She said “YES!”
11 months after that, boy asked girl to marry him. She said “YES!”.
9 months later, the pastor asked if they’d be together for the rest of their lives. They both said “I DO!”

After 1 year of “happily ever after”, girl told boy that they’d soon be a family of three. He said “YES!”
A few months later, they met Phinehas Jeffrey.
Boy said “This is fun, we should do this again!” And God said “YES!”
18 months later, they met Stephen David. Boy said “Life with 2 boys is fun, we should do this again!” And God said “YES!”

18 months later, come April, they’ll meet their next child – another boy!
Life will be crazy. Life will be LOUD. Hands and hearts will be full!

Alternate titles for this post include:
-What’s your favorite boy name from Bible, not including Phinehas and Stephen?
-How does 3 under the age of 3 for 5 days sound?
-Further proof that specializing in boys just makes good financial sense…

Collage2

Ultrasound tomorrow!

Our 20-week anatomy ultrasound is tomorrow and I’m excited (which is to be expected, of course). For our previous 2 pregnancies, we asked the ultrasound tech to write the sex of the baby in an envelope, then Jeff & I opened it up together, later. This time, we’ll be doing something different.

This time, because it’s only 2 days before Thanksgiving, we’re going to do a Mini Gender Reveal with family. The tech will still write the gender in an envelope, so that we don’t find out right away. But this time, I’ll get the results to a cake decorator (without me knowing) and she’ll bake a typical gender reveal cake.

Then on Thanksgiving, we’ll be celebrating with my side of the family and we’ll cut the cake to find out! I haven’t ever been to a gender reveal party, but I like the idea of a mini reveal with family.

So…what will it be? Boy or Girl?

Preference?

I’d love to have another boy. They’re fun! And how fun would it be to have 3 boys close in age, growing up together? So fun!

I’d love to have a girl. This might be our last child (you never know) and I think it’d be great to have the experience of having a daughter. So fun!

Old Wives’ Tales?

How you carry says Girl since I’m carrying high. (But I’ve carried high in my last 2 pregnancies. Both times with boys. I think that’s just how I am.)

Heart rate says Girl since the heartbeats have all been above 140. (But, again, both pregnancies were with boys and they were always above 140.)

Cravings says Boy since I’m craving salty instead of sweets. (This is the way I was in the last 2 pregnancies too. I am baking sweets a lot, but I’m not eating many of them. Have the munchies at night? Give me some Chex Mix.)

Acne says Boy since I don’t really have any (girls will steal your beauty…apparently)

Cold Feet says Boy since I have do have cold feet. You know, when it’s cold outside.

Wedding Ring Swing says Girl since holding it over my belly on a string makes it swing back and forth instead of in a circle.

Chinese Birth Chart says Girl.

Mayan Birth Chart says Girl.

Husband Gaining Weight Theory says Boy since my husband isn’t really gaining weight either (in fact, he’s slowly losing weight — but that’s due to his cheapness at eating lunch out and giving up soda/pop)

Morning Sickness Theory says Boy since I haven’t had any.

Girl Indicators: 5. Boy Indicators: 5   So there’s a 50/50 shot at being right!

I ran across a quote a while ago, but I don’t remember the source. It is “People don’t know how wonderful they are. Someone needs to tell them.” Maybe, for your friend, that someone is you. After all, relationships need encouragement to keep growing. Marriages don’t thrive when we ignore our spouses. Children don’t feel closer to us when we don’t spend time with them. Friendships are the same thing. Even with limited time that we moms can have, we can encourage our friendships. All it takes is just a little time and forethought.

Here are some of my ideas that don’t take too much time to pull off.

  • Send an email or a text message.  It just needs to be a few sentences, but it will brighten her day. Give her one to two things that you really appreciate.  Some things you’ve noticed about her specifically.  Extra credit if you hand write it on a note card, but that’s not necessary.
  • Bring her a treat. Driving through Starbucks? Pick her up a latte. Stopping by Dairy Queen? Order an extra milk shake just for her! Find out where she is and drop the treat off. You don’t even need to enjoy it with her; just bless her!
  • Decorate her yard. Get some plastic Easter eggs, fill them with candy and decorate her door step. Buy 100 American flags and make a big sign in her yard. Sneak into her yard at night and have some fun. Her kids will probably get a kick out of it too!
  • Drop off dinner. Making a casserole for dinner? Make two, but bring one to her. Just give her advance notice that you’re providing the meal or make it something that she can serve the next day. Meals don’t have to be just for new moms or when there is a death in the family.
  • Leave a voice mail. Does she have a work phone number? Call it late at night when she won’t be in the office. Leave a short message telling her that you value her friendship. That’ll be a nice surprise when she gets into the office!
  • Listen carefully. Many times, friends drop hints about the things that they need. Has she been looking for a good pork tenderloin recipe? If you find one, pass it on. If she mentions that her brother is looking for a job and you come across a possibility, send it her way. If you see a rug that would look great in her living room, tell her about it.
  • Take something off her plate.  Does she have errands to run?  Can you pick up her dry cleaning or the 5 gallons of paint she’s been meaning to get for the basement?  You can’t help her file her status reports for work, but you can bring her a snack while she’s working late.
  • Remember her birthday.  Let’s be honest. Sometimes moms can get overlooked on their birthdays.  So, before Facebook tells you it’s her birthday, write it in your day planner and plan ahead.  Order her one of those big chocolate chip cookies.  Make her a birthday cake.  It can even be from a box.  Help her kids make her a card.  Just make her feel special in some small way!

How do you encourage friendship?

‘Stephen’ must be a funny name with the way that he laughs when his name is said.

(Proof that dada is his first word; still haven’t heard a mama yet.)

Lack of Baby Movement

As I posted before, my last ultrasound appears to show that the baby’s placenta is anterior, so I don’t really feel as much movement.

That’s definitely true.  I felt movement much earlier than I have in my past 2 pregnancies. I chalked it up to experience and the ability to recognize what movement really is.  I think that’s the case.

But the movements never really got more frequent or stronger.  In fact, last week, I barely felt movement at all and was starting to get worried.  I debated on whether I should my doctor.  Should I run in for a quick check?  Considering that they haven’t yet been able to find the heartbeat without an ultrasound, does that indicate an issue?

Well, I didn’t call the doctor.  I ended up drinking some orange juice, laying down and waiting.  Sure enough, movement.  Not super strong, but totally normal for being 18 weeks along.  Phew!

Protecting my sanity

As you may know, I work.

  • 3 days of the week, I’m home by 12:30.
  • 1 day of the week, I work til 2:00, so that I can pick up my niece & nephew from school.
  • And the other day of the week, I work my “all day” day — but even that’s only until 3:30.

But not so much this week. This week, due to a couple of ill-timed events (mostly a training class), I have to work all day Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday. And not to my definition of “all day”, but the traditional definition of “all day” aka: until 5:00 p.m.

As I plan out this week, how do people do this? Like on a normal basis? Sure, I have the added pressure of finding full-time daycare when I normally only need part-time daycare, but that’s easily handled in my situation.

The question: How do people do the “we’re both walking in the door at 5:30 and bedtime is in 90 minutes” evening rush? Even crockpot meals and heating up leftovers take time to put together. And who wants to be rushed all the time?

The answer: You just do it. Just like I adjusted to getting married and the changes that brought. Just like I adjusted to having a child and the changes that brought. Just like I adjusted to having a 2nd child and the changes that brought. Just like I adjusted to moving houses and the changes that brought.

When you know about it before hand and when something is temporary (like this week), you make small adjustments.

So, for us, it’s a take-and-bake pizza, a crockpot meal and leftovers. It might mean a slightly later bedtime for the boys. You just do what you gotta do. But it’s a nice reminder that I don’t want to live this way on a regular basis.

I’ve come across so many articles lately about “How to Live on 1 Income!” or even “Why doesn’t America have mandatory maternity leave like other countries do?”.  I get it — it’s even something that I blogged about before — years ago.  But since then, I’ve kind of realized some things.  Such that now whenever I hear the question “How Can We Live On One Income?”, I mentally reply “As long as your income is Bill Gates’, then you’re fine.”  For a while, I thought of it as an income problem.  Or I mentally think “Just have the expenses of Mother Teresa, then you’re fine.”  I would think of it as an expense problem.

Okay, not really.  It doesn’t take Bill Gates income to support a family.  And you don’t have to have expenses of a single nun.  And while, at the end of the day, it does come down to expenses and income, I’m guessing (just guessing) that in my circle of friends, there are 1-income homes making $40K/year and they make it work. And there are probably also couples making $150K/year who struggle to pay all their bills.  So, it isn’t the amount that’s critical – it’s the decisions made that make all the difference.

But even that statement is kind of misleading.  Because, I’ve realized that:

  • It’s the decisions your parents made when you were growing up that affect you today.
  • It’s the decisions your spouse’s parents made when you were growing up that affect you today.
  • It’s the decisions that you made after high school that affect you today. (Student loans, rents, mortgages, car loans, etc)
  • It’s the decisions that your spouse made after high school that affect you today.
  • It’s the professions that you’re in that affect you today. (Income potential as well as other expectations like dress code, cars, houses)
  • It’s the professions that your spouse is in that affect you today.
  • It’s the part of the country that you live in that affect you today. (Particularly housing has a huge effect on cost of living)

It’s all kinds of things.  I’ve just come to realize that being/having a stay-at-home spouse is a complex issue.  It’s not SOLELY a function of the decisions that you make today, but it’s influenced by decisions made for the last couple of decades and decisions not even made by you.

Over the years, my mind has gone from “You just have to make a budget that only spends what you make.” to “You just have to have 1 income that makes enough money to support your needs.” to “I think people need to really be wise about their decisions and the decisions that they lead their children too because financial decisions can have a really long-term effect.”  Aka: It’s complicated. 

 

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