I once read an author who described parenthood as a “necessary shock to one’s selfishness.” Now, I’m not convinced that she’s 100% right about the necessary part, but lately, I’m convinced about the shock to my selfishness.
It’s the toddler days that are hard for me to bear. Pregnancy isn’t a big deal to me (so far). Sure, you have aches and pains and heartburn (oh the heartburn right now!), but the thought of being pregnant again is no big deal.
The early days of a newborn don’t scare me. Been there. Done that. Learned a lot. Will learn some more in a few months. It’s a really intense and tiring time, but it isn’t so bad.
It’s the “Terrible Twos” or whatever you want to call them. It’s not so much the “Oh wow — look what I can do. Bet you never thought of me playing with my poop on the wall” experiences. I can laugh at those. It’s the “Mom & Dad, are your boundaries for real?” testing that goes on. It’s the “I just realized that I really don’t have to do what you say. Your words do not automatically command my body to action.” moments. It’s the “I just woke up from my nap and I am ANGRY at everything and everyone for no reason.”
“They” aren’t kidding when they say that some days are hard. But some days are wonderful too. And, really, more realistically – the same day is both hard and wonderful.
When my kids are all out of toddler, I can definitely see where I’ll miss some moments that this unique age brings.
- The wonder when they discover something new.
- The “talking” that they (well, at least Finn so far) do when they’re falling asleep.
- The random hugs that they want.
- The insistence that they give you a “hug and a kiss” even if you’re just running to the grocery store without them.
- The way they love taking baths and just dumping water from 1 bowl to the other.
- The way they jump out of the tub after that bad and can’t wait to go see Dada and show him that they’re “nakey”.
- The way that they don’t care if it is the 4th time today that they’ve heard “The Daddy Mountain”, they want it one more time.
But I know that I am being made a better person because of my kids. Because they frustrate me. Because I get so confused about how to train them. Because I get so caught up in MY way and MY wants and MY needs that I get angry when I don’t have things the way that I want them. It’s all a part of growing up, I guess – they’re growing up and mine!