Archive for the ‘money’ Category

It’s officially been 1 month since my last day of work.  Since then, we also welcomed Baby Ben into our family, so the time has been full.  Thought it’d be good (for me) to document some of my thoughts on how the ‘Not Working’ thing is going.

Answer: I LOVE IT!  Since I’ve been employed since I was 15, the closest thing I can compare ‘not working’ to is my maternity leaves where I took 6 weeks off work.  Which is pretty fitting because if I was still employed, I’d be on maternity leave right now.

But this is pretty different than my maternity leaves.  For a couple of reasons:

  1. I knew that my maternity leaves were temporary.  The time was limited and I knew that I was going back soon.
  2. I still continued to work during my maternity leaves.  Not full-time, of course, but I dialed in to keep my email Inbox as clean as possible and to respond to anything critical.  I had people doing parts of my job during each leave and I knew that I was putting a burden on them.

This time?  I can’t work even if I wanted to.  No access to any company resources.  Why?  Because I’m not employed there!  I might wonder what people are doing while I’m gone, but it doesn’t cross my mind often.  I don’t know what meetings I’m missing.  I don’t know what decisions they have to make.  I don’t know what software enhancements they’re designing.  I just don’t know.  I don’t have to worry about the work that’s waiting for me when I get back.  That makes it infinitely easier to not think about my past life.

Right after Ben’s birth, I had this thought: “Man, having Baby #4 sure is easier than Baby #1!”  I chalked it up to confidence brought about by experience.  But I don’t think that’s the cause of my calm nearly as much not having to think about work and what impact my absence is having on my co-workers.

I wrote about this almost 5 years ago, but so far, my experience is proving it out: Being a Stay-At-Home Mom seems to be emotionally great!  My attention isn’t divided and that is very freeing right now.



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Gotta Make A Change!

Many moons ago (okay, back in October), Jeff and I started discussing me quitting my job and starting to be a Stay-At-Home Mom.  Things just weren’t working out well with my job any more.  My job was great – I was still rocking that.  But our home life was starting to suffer far more than we liked.  Several things were happening; there wasn’t just 1 thing that was causing the pain.

Cue the (unexpected) positive pregnancy test.  With that news, it seemed even more clear – and it influenced our timing.  Before we had been talking about the end of 2016, but with Baby #4 coming in June, it just appeared as a natural time.

So we decided!  We decided that starting in June, I’ll be leaving Corporate America for Home!

I have mixed emotions about it, to be honest.  I firmly believe that it’s the right decision…but that doesn’t make it easy.  As I’ve said elsewhere, I feel like a college senior.  You look forward to graduation and what is coming next, but you also recognize the great life you have right now.  You have friends.  Free time.  Pizza runs at midnight.  Classes are fun and challenging. It’s just a great place to be.

That’s me right now — my job is a great place to be.  I do well there.  I have fantastic co-workers and a fun product.  We’re doing good work and some exciting things.  I really, really, really enjoy it.

But I’m also excited for staying at home too.  It will be challenging – probably far more than I realize.  Most women who stay-at-home (I’m guessing) do so when their first is born, not their fourth.

Is this move permanent?  Probably not.  Maybe, but I suspect not.  But again, I don’t want to work full-time.  Not with little ones.  Not with school age kids.  Life will only get crazier not more simple – at least not for a really long time.  So, who knows where this all will lead?

I’ll write more about this later – in particular, I have some old posts that I’ve written, but never published on being a working mother.  Maybe it’s time to dust those off!

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Keeping Christmas Organized

A few years ago (probably when I married Jeff and doubled the size of my family and the people that I was shopping for), I started keeping a little file of Christmas things.  Mostly the gifts that I was planning to buy and the status of them – Had I bought the gifts yet?  Have I wrapped the gifts yet?  It’s super nice when I’m in the mode of “did I get this figured out yet or not?” brainstorming sessions.  Then I don’t end up buying 2 gifts for 1 person and no gifts for someone else.  And it makes it harder to forget someone — I just start with last year’s list and make changes.

I also include things that I made for different dinners…like green bean casserole when we got together with friends or Chex Mix when we went to Jeff’s parents place.  That way, I could remember if things were hits or misses.  Like last year, when we had 8 dessert choices for 12 family members.  This year, I brought something different!

It’s nice because I have a record of the gifts I bought people, so I can make sure I’m not the aunt “who always gives me a doll”.  Unless, that niece always wants a doll.

Anyway, it’s helped my sanity.  Maybe it’d help yours too.

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I’ve come across so many articles lately about “How to Live on 1 Income!” or even “Why doesn’t America have mandatory maternity leave like other countries do?”.  I get it — it’s even something that I blogged about before — years ago.  But since then, I’ve kind of realized some things.  Such that now whenever I hear the question “How Can We Live On One Income?”, I mentally reply “As long as your income is Bill Gates’, then you’re fine.”  For a while, I thought of it as an income problem.  Or I mentally think “Just have the expenses of Mother Teresa, then you’re fine.”  I would think of it as an expense problem.

Okay, not really.  It doesn’t take Bill Gates income to support a family.  And you don’t have to have expenses of a single nun.  And while, at the end of the day, it does come down to expenses and income, I’m guessing (just guessing) that in my circle of friends, there are 1-income homes making $40K/year and they make it work. And there are probably also couples making $150K/year who struggle to pay all their bills.  So, it isn’t the amount that’s critical — it’s the decisions made that make all the difference.

But even that statement is kind of misleading.  Because, I’ve realized that:

  • It’s the decisions your parents made when you were growing up that affect you today.
  • It’s the decisions your spouse’s parents made when you were growing up that affect you today.
  • It’s the decisions that you made after high school that affect you today. (Student loans, rents, mortgages, car loans, etc)
  • It’s the decisions that your spouse made after high school that affect you today.
  • It’s the professions that you’re in that affect you today. (Income potential as well as other expectations like dress code, cars, houses)
  • It’s the professions that your spouse is in that affect you today.
  • It’s the part of the country that you live in that affect you today. (Particularly housing has a huge effect on cost of living)

It’s all kinds of things.  I’ve just come to realize that being/having a stay-at-home spouse is a complex issue.  It’s not SOLELY a function of the decisions that you make today, but it’s influenced by decisions made for the last couple of decades and decisions not even made by you.

Over the years, my mind has gone from “You just have to make a budget that only spends what you make.” to “You just have to have 1 income that makes enough money to support your needs.” to “I think people need to really be wise about their decisions and the decisions that they lead their children too because financial decisions can have a really long-term effect.”  Aka: It’s complicated. 


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We sold our house! For Sale By Owner! (Which you already know because we moved into the new house over a year – I’m a little behind in posting!)  It took us 5 weeks, which is great when you’re doing it For Sale By Owner.  I’ve driven by houses in our town that have been on the market for months – and that’s with a realtor!

We actually had 3 people/families that were really interested.  In fact, when it had been on the market for just 9 days, I thought we had it sold.  A gal made an offer, we accepted it, but she backed out when it came time to sign a contract.  I think she just panicked – even though she went through it twice, brought parents, sisters, nephews and had her grandfather review the contract.  (Which, before a contract is signed, is the best/easiest time to panic.)

Here’s how we did it.

Price it well
This is the first thing that everyone will tell you to do. If you price too high, people will just write you off and not even walk through. For us, we looked at houses that had recently sold and set a price. When we were setting the price, there was a house literally 2 doors down with the exact same floor plan that was also for sale. It had been a foreclosure that sat empty for over a year and a half, bought by a renovator and fixed up a little.  They had it listed with an agent and we knew we wanted to be just a little less expensive than they were. So we went 1-2% less than they were asking.  We were blessed to be in a position where we didn’t need to get absolute top dollar for it.  It was more important (to us) to have a buyer than an extra couple of thousand dollars.

But literally 2 days before we put our For Sale sign in the yard, they removed theirs. We thought it had sold, but we learned much later that they really had rented it out instead because they couldn’t find a buyer.

Get it cute
We spent a lot of time making it look as cute and clean as we could. We rented a storage unit between the 2 houses and just started packing boxes. We filled up about 3/4 of a 10×10 foot storage unit. Stuff we wouldn’t need in the next few months.   We had lots of bins of baby clothes that no longer fit, baby clothes that don’t yet fit, toys our son has yet to grow into along with tons of diapers, personal care products, and canned goods (I’m a couponer!) plus holiday stuff. It made moving that much easier, but it also made selling that much easier.

We gave some attention to the yard, putting down new mulch and planting a couple of hosta plants in areas. We focused on watering for a couple of weeks to get the grass nice and green.

I touched up places where paint may have gotten scuffed off on inside walls or outside where it was chipping off a little bit.

I got rid of furniture that wasn’t critical or often used. Make it look as big as possible.

I organized pantries and closets, sending a couple of tubs of stuff to Goodwill.  (In hindsight, I wish I would’ve done more!)

Since we moved in, we knew our wood floors needed refinishing, but didn’t really want to do it. We thought we’d just acknowledge the scratches and stains and tell people that we lowered the price $1000 (about the cost of refinishing them).  But, in the end, we figured a first time home buyer would be intimidated by that and it ruined the cute factor – in a key area of the house. So, we bit the bullet, slept in the basement for a few nights (so that we didn’t walk on the floors) and had the work done.

Advertised on zillow.com
As I cleaned each room and prepped it, I took pictures and then created a page on zillow.com. I chose that as my primary place to hold house information. Cost: FREE!

Offered a Referral Bonus
Since we didn’t have a seller’s agent finding leads for us, I knew that word of mouth was going to be our biggest asset. So, we offered a $500 referral bonus to anyone that found a buyer for us. Turns out we didn’t need it, but there was no telling where our buyer was going to come from. It definitely generated some buzz for us and I’d totally do it again.

Create a flyer
Our flyer wasn’t anything fancy, but we needed one for the Info Box in our yard and for sending to people.  I mimicked the format that I had seen realtors use.

Email & Facebook
Once we were ready, I sent an email to friends and family with the flyer and link to zillow.com. Then I announced on facebook, making sure to stress the referral bonus. One of our strong interests came from this route (via a facebook friend), but they were interested just a little too late – we had already accepted an offer.

Since Craigslist is free, we advertised here. We did have 1 person come through before the Open House as a result of this ad, so it was worth the 10 minutes it took to set it up.  The person who found us this way was actually a real estate agent who also checked craigslist…you just never know who is watching it!

Listed in the paper

Our hometown paper has a program where you get an online ad and you get your Open House listed in Friday, Saturday and Sunday’s paper of that week. Since our big push was the Open House, we ran for a weekend. Cost: $100 or so.

Advertise to neighbors
I created a postcard, had it printed at overnightprints.com and mailed them to 150 of our neighbors. I don’t know most of them, but they got a postcard anyway. Getting the addresses was easy thanks to our county’s assessor’s website.  It listed the features of the house and said that we were also offering a referral bonus if they referred the buyer. Most importantly, it directed them to the website. I put a bright sticker on there, announcing the Open House as well. I was careful to not put the price on the postcard in case we decided later to change it.   Cost of postcards and postage: Less than $100.  I’ve removed some critical information, but here’s what it looked like:



What we didn’t do, but would have:
There are a few ideas that I had, but never implemented. I figured we’d get past our Open House and if there wasn’t any nibbles, then I’d look at doing these things:

  • Listing on ForSaleByOwner (or something similar).  There’s a cost to this though.
  • Creating a youtube video of pictures or even a video walk through of the house to give people a better idea of the house.
  • Make our own signs for the yard and direction signs. Something bright and eye catching just made with plywood.

That’s how we did it!

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Open Enrollment

Medically insurance speaking, it’s Open Enrollment in this house.  When did things get so complicated?  Ah, yes, I remember now.  They got complicated when I stopped being single and started having more than 1 plan to choose from.

They got more complicated when we had kids and moved up into “Family” plans instead of “Employee” or “Employee + 1”.

They got more and more complicated when we had a baby last year and a head surgery — that will make you take “Max Out Of Pocket” really seriously!

Seriously, I had to end up creating the spreadsheet-to-last-through-the-ages to help us determine what our best options were.  Jeff’s HDHP?  My HDHP?  Cover Jeff as an individual, then do a family plan with my employer?  Cover me as an individual, then do a family plan with Jeff’s employer?  What if Jeff & I each took a kid onto our plan(s)?

AND…What are the results if we have practically no medical expenses next year?  What if we have another baby AND another head surgery?  What if every member of the family ends up visiting the ER 20 times?  What if?  What if?  What if?

The answer is different if we expect no medical expenses (which we don’t) compared to expecting every person to need a $50,000 surgery (we don’t expect that either).  So, I created a spreadsheet with all our options, all the possible coverage permutations and it allowed for inputs like expected medical expenses.

But, man, this used to be easier!  (Not complaining because we are truly blessed to have the medical insurance options that we do have in a place with excellent medical care and that we generally have good health.)

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Dave Ramsey talks about “nerds” vs. “free spirits” when it comes to money management/budgeting.

While I definitely wouldn’t say that Jeff is a “free spirit”, he’s also not the “nerd” that I am.

Last Friday, I made an extra payment on our mortgage.

In the amount of $95.99.

Why?  Just to see the balance be $9,999.99.  Under $10K!  And as a bonus, it’s all 9s!



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