Our little Sammy is starting to exhibit his personality more and more. Having 2 older siblings, I can’t help compare his personality & actions to his brothers. He seems more like Finn than Stephen – in terms of stubbornness and seeking out the company of others. Stephen prefers to be by himself quite a bit more where Finn always wants to be right there with you. Right now, Sammy is fascinated with his brothers and is always watching. He’ll just follow us room to room.

But…he’s also my first thumb sucker. That’s been unique to him.  He’s only been doing it for a couple of months, but he’s my first to do so. It only happens when he’s sleepy. If one of us is holding him (like upright on our hip), then he’ll suck his thumb. If he’s laying down in his crib, then he tends to suck on a couple of his finger.

I particularly like feeding him his last bottle of the day, right before bed. As I’m holding him in the recliner in his room, he’ll hold his own bottle, drink as much as he wants, then he’ll drop it. He’ll roll over onto his stomach to curl up on my chest. He’ll put 2 fingers in his mouth and start sucking. If I don’t start patting his back, he’ll reach back around and pat it himself as if reminding me of my job. It’s just adorable. It’s a good moment in a good phase of life.

Have you seen the Chewbacca lady on YouTube? I’m sure you have, but if you haven’t, check out her hilariousness!

A friend of mine posted an interview she did by her pastor at her church and she had a couple of points (made to students) that really resonated with me:

She gives 2 words of advice at the very end. Something like this:
“Have patience. Have those moments where you wait upon the voice of the Lord. Don’t rush into a ministry or opportunity because it seems shiny.”
I can see myself doing this. As I transition to being a stay-at-home mom, I can envision all the new opportunities that I could have. I could actually join a Women’s Bible Study now! I could attend a mom’s group. I could volunteer with a ministry. I didn’t have time for any of those before. Most of the Women’s Bible Studies & Mom’s group met when I was working.

I gotta have patience and not grab onto the shiny things just for the sake of shiny.
“Have obedience. When He tells you to move, move. When He tells you to stop, stop. When He tells you ‘indulge in the delights of my table’, indulge. But when He tells you ‘that’s not yours, you can’t have it’, step away.”
This is where I’m at. He’s told me to step away from working. Left to my own decision, I might not be stepping away. Or I might pursue working, but in a different way than I have been. Working, for now, is something that I feel God saying “That’s not yours, you can’t have it, step away” and so, stepping away I am. And I don’t say that lightly. I’m not a big “God told me” kind of person…I just feel like this is where He’s leading me.

So..hi ho, hi ho, it’s away from work I go!

Reality sets in

I’m about 2 weeks away from my last day at work. It’s so bittersweet.

  • I’m not leaving my job because it’s bad. Because it’s not — it’s great.
  • I’m not leaving my job because I don’t like what I do anymore. Because I do like what I do.
  • I’m not leaving my job because I’m not good at what I do. Because I do like what I do.
  • I’m not leaving my job because it isn’t financially worth it. Because it is – very much so.

I am leaving my job because I think it’s best for my family. And because if I don’t at least give it a try, I’ll always regret it. In most ways, it’s an easy decision.

But an easy and clear decision doesn’t always mean lack of tears and sadness. In the last few months, I’ve cried many days on the way to work. And I’ve cried many days on the way home from work. And I’ve cried many tears when things were difficult at home with the boys.

There’s a part of this that’s very much like a grieving process. And that makes sense. It is the end (at least for now) of a very significant time period of my life. I’ve been in Corporate America, specifically software management & design for 18 years. That’s huge.

I’ve likened it to graduating from college. Great things lay ahead. But great things are behind me too.

But now that my replacements are in place here at my company, it’s really becoming real. And it’s starting to feel more comfortable. The tears have largely stopped. My duties at work are (rightly) dwindling now. It’s starting to feel comfortable.

And on the home front, I’m ready to have this baby. Technically, I have a month left til my official due date, but I’m close enough that it’s real and I’m ready for the birth.

My transition to stay-at-home mom is near. The birth of my 4th son is near. A new reality is close, so it’s starting to feel right and true.

34 week check up

Another 2 weeks have past.  Therefore, another set of dr’s appointments.  This week marked the start of having to see both the perinatologist and my OB each appointment.  I’ll go again at 36 weeks, then weekly after that.

More uneventful stuff.

  • My weight has stayed steady.  No gain.  No loss.
  • Baby is measuring right on track.
  • Heartbeat in the 140s.
  • He had been kind of sideways last time, but this time he was head down.  Which I suspected because of where I’ve started feeling movement (low and high instead of right and left).
  • They didn’t do an official growth ultrasound, but everything looked good.
  • My platelet counts are back up!  They’re at 180-something, which is fine.  They’ll test again later, but as long as they’ve over 100, there’s nothing to worry about.
  • Again, no great pictures of the baby.  He likes his hands by his face!

Less than 6 weeks away from being a Family of 6!

32 week check up

Let’s call this a 32-week check up even though I’m really like 31 1/2 weeks.  But whatever.  Today’s appointment was with my perinatologist (the high risk doctor since, you know, I’m old and stuff).  Totally an uneventful appointment.

They always do an ultrasound to measure things and baby looks great! Still definitely, 100%, proud-to-be a boy!  They measure all kinds of things like head size, thigh size, stomach size, kidney size, amount of fluid, placenta blood flow, etc.  For all of the metrics, baby was measuring ahead 1-2 weeks.  That’s great because I tend to have babies on the smaller side.

The doctor confirmed that my platelet count is starting to get low, but it wasn’t anywhere near a critical level yet – just that it’s starting to decrease.  They’ll keep an eye on it, but he isn’t concerned about it at all.  If it does get too low, he’d likely recommend that they give me some steroids that will increase platelet count.  My main concern is that I’ll be able to get an epidural when the time is right!

I’ll continue to see my normal OB every other week until 36 weeks, then I’ll go to the both the normal OB and the perinatologist weekly.  The perinatologist will do a biophysical profile each time – mostly looking for signs that the placenta is aging too fast.  If I remember correctly, the tech said that they give a score between 0 and 8:

  • 2 points can be assigned for movement
  • 2 points can be assigned for placenta bloodflow
  • 2 points can be assigned for amount of amniotic fluid
  • 2 points can be assigned for baby’s heartbeat

They did try to get me some 3D shots of baby, but no luck.  He kept his hands near his face the whole time.  I got to see his eye socket.  It looked like…an eye socket.

Either way, so far, so good!


31 week check up

I missed my 30-week check up due to car issues.  (You know the kind where you’re literally 1 mile away from your destination, but your van won’t turn over, so you ain’t going even though you’re this.close to the place you need to be?  That kind.)
But that’s okay – I moved it to 31 weeks and canceled the 32 week check up.  I feel good.  Lots of movement.  No major issues, so I felt comfortable doing that.  If something changed, then I can always call the doctor.
So, I got to the doctor today.  Uneventful:
  • Yes, my lab work was good last time at 28 weeks – no gestational diabetes.  Which I knew since they didn’t call.  No news = good news.



  • I should continue to see the perinatologist.  Reason: I’m still old.  Darn that turning 36 last summer!  They just get worried that the placenta will start to age in the last few weeks of pregnancy.  Not sure how worried I should really be about that.



  • There’s nothing he sees that would make them think that they have to induce – my blood pressure is great, baby seems to be growing, my vitamin levels are bad, but delivery isn’t going to fix that.

Bottom line: Baby is doing well.  I’m doing well.  Keep waiting!

Finn: 4 Years Old!

Finn is 4 years old today!  For the last 11 days, I’ve had a 3-year-old, a 2-year-old and a 1-year-old.  Won’t be repeated again as Baby #4 (still unnamed) will be here in June.

Finn…how to describe him?!?  He can be so kind and tender sometimes.  And so mean.  He can be willing to do whatever you suggest.  And also so stubborn and tough to deviate from the path he’s set for himself.

He’s still not great at potty training (no medical issues; he just doesn’t seem to care much about accidents).  He’s all about “best friends” these days.  Sometimes, I am his best friend.  Sometimes, Stephen is.  Sometimes, he names random people as his best friend.  It’s kind of cute watching him work out what relationships really mean.

He loves doing things “all by himself”, but he also loves having someone there watching him – get dressed, clean up toys, eat a snack.  He’s my kid that as soon as I sit down, he wants in my lap – even still at 4 years old.

He’s showing a good ability to think about things.  Often, he’ll give me reasons why he can’t obey or that he’ll obey right after he does x, y, z.  I’m glad that he’s a thinker and logical (though not surprising given his parents’ backgrounds in Computer Science & Electrical Engineering), but we’re working on obeying.

He’s a big reason that I’ve decided to stay at home for now.  It’s him that I want to influence and help guide for a while.  He’s got 2 years until he’ll go to Kindergarten and I want to make the most of these next couple of years.

He’s not a big eater.  He isn’t picky, but he just doesn’t eat much.  He’s 34 1/2 pounds (38th percentile) and 41 inches (77th percentile).

He’s the only one that “gets” (to any degree) that there’s another brother coming.  He thinks we should name the baby Sammy and he wants to make sure that baby sleeps in his room with him.

Our Finn…he’s ours and we love him!




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