According to an article on oprah.com (I know, not exactly a scholarly source, but hey, it came up on my cnn.com feed), women who make more money than men have some interesting stats.
- The more a woman makes, the less eager she is to get married.
- BUT…the more a man makes, the more eager he is to get married. “Men who earn an above-average salary are 26 percent more likely to get married than those who earn an average one.”
- In 2000, 22% of wives earned more than their husbands.
- In 2006, it was 30%. That’s 8% increase in just 6 years!
- There’s a higher divorce rate when the wife makes more than the husband.
2 interesting quotes stuck out to me.
Quote #1:
“Their research also shows that both men and women are happier in marriages where the husband earns more than the wife.”
This isn’t uber surprising to me. Shaunti Feldhahn, in her book For Women Only, did research on this and discovered that men (in general) feel responsible for being the financial provider, regardless of whether the wife is bringing in an income. A wife’s income is always appreciated, but it doesn’t matter how big or small it is – he feels responsible regardless. So, when a man does make more, it’s probably likely that he feels that he’s meeting that obligation. Meeting obligations = happier men. And happier men = happier women!
I’m sure there are limits to this – I could think of 3:
1) The income gap isn’t that different.
I imagine a man who makes $100K/year and whose wife makes $95K/year, doesn’t really feel that he makes so much more. Because he doesn’t. And because his income is already quite high. Very high! So, I imagine the happiness he has is mostly because of his salary, not so much that his salary is higher than his wife.
2) The total income isn’t that high.
If you were a man making $10K/year and your wife was making $9K/year, it’s true that you make more, but your overall income isn’t that high. So, I don’t imagine there’s a sense of comfort that the husband’s salary is higher than the wife’s.
3) Their lifestyle exceeds any income they have.
In both scenarios, if your lifestyle needed more income than you had, I imagine it doesn’t much matter to you whose salary is higher. What if the couple making $195K/year spent $200K/year? Or the couple making $19K/year had expenses of $25K/year? Either way, I don’t think they’re all that happy that the man makes more. My gut. After all, “Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.” ~Charles Dickens
She had all kinds of tips of what to do if you’re in this type of situation, but they’re pretty common sense. Basically: talk about it, go on dates, be his cheerleader, and let him be your cheerleader. All good advice.
Quote #2:
One other line stuck out to me:
“A new study from the University of Virginia shows that the factor that contributes most to whether you are happy in your marriage is whether your husband or partner is engaged emotionally.”
I wonder if the wife makes more, it makes the husband shut down emotionally? Meaning: his wife makes more, so the husband takes that personally and then he shuts down? I don’t know. Just guessing. But, to all you husbands out there (all 1 of you that read this blog): the thing that makes your wife happiest in your marriage (according to the University of Virgina) is to engage emotionally. Guessing that’s not a big surprise to most of you!
So, what do we do with all this information? Is it a big deal if a woman makes more? I’ll talk about that sometime cause it’s interesting to me.
Well, I might be the “one” who read your blog…but I hope not. 🙂
I remember since I was a little kid listening to my aunt and uncle comment (many times!) that she made more than he. Well, they divorced after a messy and unhappy marriage. Not only that, they were one of those couples who lived outside their means even with VERY healthy incomes. What a tragedy.
How awful! I can totally imagine how living outside your means could end in divorce. I hate the stress that it causes! And stress inside of me = stress inside of us!
And if you had a wife who lorded it over her husband “I make more than you”, then you’re also in trouble! Especially if you had a husband who got his identity from his income. Talk about even more trouble!