Do you have a “different” child? Or just a child not quite like you? Or a child that you don’t really understand?
I’ve recently read “Different: The Story of an Outside-the-Box Kid and the Mom Who Loved Him” by Sally & Nathan Clarkson.
LOVED IT! We don’t have the same battles she & Nathan faced (ADHD, OCD, anxiety), but I found their story to be very encouraging – particularly as it relates to parenting the child we actually have, not the child we think we have or the child we thought we’d have.
We’re at the stage of parenting where personalities are starting to develop. Where correction seems constant. Where it’s a more than just “keeping the baby nourished and well slept”.
Some quotes I really enjoyed:
“If Nathan had grown up in a home where he was constantly put down and corrected, I think the oxygen of God’s love would have been strangled from his heart, which needed a wide berth of unconditional acceptance.”
“As a family, we told our other children, our message was clear: “If it is God’s will for Daddy and me to have Nathan as our child (for you with your issues), it is God’s will for you to have Nathan as your brother. All of you are what make up the design of our family.”
“Because Nathan did need to be trained, some correction was unavoidable. But when I put myself in Nathan’s shoes, I realized that my constant correction could easily be a source of frustration, insecurity, and anger in my already-fragile child. That constant feeling of just not measuring up can build a lifelong legacy of insecurity and even despair. Feeling like a disappointment on a regular basis can actually shape the brain patterns of a growing child. Failure and helplessness can become self-fulfilling prophecies.”