More thoughts on marriage from someone who has been married for a whopping 4 years…
Thought #3: People just don’t know
This is kind of like the previous point where people change over their lives, but this one is more that you just don’t know things when you get marry. You might think you have an idea of how you want to parent, what kind of house you want to live in, how you want to spend your money, but then these decisions come up and now you realize that it isn’t as simple as you thought.
Example for us is that before we got married, Jeff had the idea that we’d eventually move to a house and stay there for as long as possible. That our kids would always have just 1 house that they’d know as ‘home’. In his mind, we might move when we became empty nesters, but for the most part, we’d stay there. That seemed great to me.
In reality, that doesn’t seem so good to me anymore. We moved last fall and although I absolutely adore the location, I’m not sure this is the house for us for the next 20-30 years. It just doesn’t seem like the place where I’d want to have teenagers. When we were just engaged, I had no idea what our life would look like and so his plan seemed good to me.
Now that our life together is starting to be more clear, I’m not as certain. This seems like a good house for having young kids, but I can easily see us moving in 10 years to a bigger house – or at least a house with a different floor plan. We’ll just have see what life brings, but my point is that what you think you want before you’re married isn’t always what you’ll really want when you get there.