It’s our 4 year anniversary today! I’d post a recent picture of us, but well….there isn’t one. There’s plenty of: me with Phinehas. And me with Stephen. And me with both the boys. And Jeff with Phinehas. And Jeff with Stephen. And Jeff with both boys. But I can’t find any with solely Jeff & I. I guess having kids will do that to you — someone has to be holding the camera! I better make sure we get one!
In honor of this 4th year, I thought I’d do some
journaling blogging about marriage. I looked back on my first year thoughts and realized that I was pretty darn smart back then. And also kind of dumb. I really need to remember that Jayme is happier when her kitchen is clean (but I need to add ‘toy room’ to that list!)
People will still tell you that marriage is hard. Really hard. But I’m not sure we’ve seen that yet. Not in a “this is really hard, I want to hit the eject button” kind of hard. We’ve had the normal ups-and-downs that 4 years of marriage and 2 kids have brought, but we’ve really been very blessed. No health crises. No major financial challenges.
That said…I have more thoughts on what makes marriage difficult at times.
Thought #1: People can be annoying
Jeff can be annoying at times. I can be annoying at times. We’re humans like that. Sometimes, our annoying is intentional – because we’re sinners like that. Sometimes, it’s just bad timing: he did something that he thought was funny, but funny is not what I thought it was. Sometimes I find myself singing the same song over and over again and apparently, that’s annoying.
And it’s annoying that is REALLY annoying because it’s hard to escape. With a co-worker, you’d just leave their office. With a child, you’d tell them to stop. With a neighbor, you’d just limit your interactions. But with a spouse, you live with them and you have to deal with them being annoying. And they have to deal with YOU being annoying.
It’s all good though. That’s how it’s supposed to be. That’s one of the ways that marriage helps us mature and become more holy. We realize that our actions impact others. We learn what’s annoying to the other person and stop doing it. We learn how to tell someone (kindly!) that they are being annoying!