I’ve recently realized how small my world is. Wake up. Spend time with the boys. Drop them off at my sister’s. Go to work. Go get the boys. Play, put down for naps, play. Jeff comes home. Do dinner, play, put to bed. Relax. Go to bed.
Most days are like that. I was taking a personality test for work and it asked questions like “Do you have many friends?” and “Do you seek out social situations?” Umm…no. Not many friends. (I didn’t think facebook friends counted.) And I definitely don’t seek out social situations.
I can blame it on my stage of life. And it’s true. It’s just much easier to stay home when there’s 2 young ones involved.
I can blame it on going to a big church. And it’s true. Our church is big and it is difficult to meet people, much less make friends.
I can blame it on moving away from friends. And it’s true. For the first year of marriage, many of my friend lived really physically close to us. When we moved across town, it wasn’t as easy to just stop in and see them.
But I think it’s mostly my introverted-ness. I just don’t yearn for lots of interaction like other people do. Every once in a while I do, but really, most often I just want to read and stay in a cocoon. (By the way, I recently read a great book on being an Introvert – checked it out from the library — Quiet: The Power of Introverts In A World That Can’t Stop Talking.)
But I’m starting to notice its affect on me.
- When I want parenting advice, I don’t have many people that I can ask “Is this normal?” or “How would you handle this?”.
- When different discussions come up about financial troubles or hardships, I can’t contribute much to the conversation – I haven’t personally been exposed to many reasons about why life is difficult financially. Nor talked to many people about what they’ve gone through.
- When the Hobby Lobby Supreme Court decision was announced, I didn’t think it was any big deal. But apparently lots of other people did – judging from facebook anyway.
It’s odd because this is not Work Jayme. Work Jayme has a big personality. And is personable. And is (usually) funny and (I think) witty. And asks about others. And is informed. And is usually in the middle of most of the stuff going on, project-wise. But Outside-of-Work-And-Home Jayme just clams up. And panics. And feels awkward. (Which that introvert book talks about why that is. Good book.)
So I stay in my bubble. Which I prefer. It’s safe here.
I read another book recently about the Life Ready Woman by Shaunti Feldhahn, which I really liked. It challenged me to think of ways that I can get out of my comfort zone. Not big ways like move to Zambia. But in “not related to work” ways that I can do. Things that I have skills for. Things that don’t have to take big efforts, but ways in which I could change. So I’m starting to mull those ideas over.
Because as good as bubbles are, they can sometimes burst!