(MLS: My Love Story – Part 4!)
I was interested in Jeff in that way. Sometimes, it seemed that he was interested in me too. But, usually, it didn’t seem that he was. After all, the biggest indicator that a guy is interested is that he asks you out (or to court or whatever term you want to use.) And Jeff didn’t ask me out right away.
While I felt strongly that I needed to let him lead the pace of this relationship (where ever that led), I still wanted to do what I could to encourage him. In my mind, there’s a middle ground between “hiding from him, so that it is super clear that he was the initiator” and “asking him to ask me out on a date”.
For me, that meant passing him a note in study hall asking “Do you like Jayme? Check Yes or No.” Just kidding.
For me, it meant being friendly. It meant asking him questions about himself. It meant making sure he knew about group events like movie nights and service events. It meant talking about things that I liked. It meant complimenting him on things that I noticed. It meant smiling at him!
So what did that look like for Jeff? Nothing. Months and months went by and he didn’t ask me out.
During those not-dating months, he’d call me (every once in a while) because “a group of people are getting together to play board games and did I want to come?” I always said yes. Did he ask me out then? Nope.
During those not-dating months, when he was able to be at Bible Study, he’d tell me that a group of people were going to a pizza place to hang out and did I want to come? I always said yes. Did he ask me one of those times? Nope.
During those not-dating months, he became a small group leader of our study, so we’d meet twice a month to prepare. We’d spend 45 minutes or so to prepare for the study, then two hours just talking! Did he ask me out then? Nope.
One time (yes, during those not-dating months), he wasn’t even at Bible study, but he came after Bible Study (at 10:30 p.m. after getting back into town from jazz band practice) just to walk me out to my car. Did he ask me out then? Nope.
Eventually, he did ask me out. (Otherwise, this would be a really boring My Love Story series!) But until that happened, I spent months wishing and hoping. Wondering if I was doing something ‘wrong’.
Those months were full of ’embarrassing’ moments for me. Not embarrassing to-him like if you tripped and fell up the stairs, but the internally embarrassing kind of moment where something that you thought would happen, didn’t. A few embarrassing moments from girl friends who would ask “Are you and Jeff dating?” and I’d have to answer no.
(It was also a time of patience building, of course. And learning to trust – Jeff and Jesus. But really, I want to post about some of the awkward/funny/dorky Jayme moments in My Love Story.)
- Don’t tell many people that you like someone. (I didn’t, but it seems even the few I did tell might have been too many.)
- When a guy isn’t asking you out, it’s hard. And a little embarrassing to yourself.
- Romantic relationships are full of weird, quirky moments.