I am the despot of my oikos!
I’ve referred to this before, but I am the despot of my oikos. Say what!? It’s a phrase found in Titus 2:3-5 when the Bible says that women should be workers at home or home makers or home managers (depending on your translation). I’ve been thinking about this role a lot lately because I think how the role gets executed changes throughout the course of life.
- What it looked like when I was single is different than…
- It looks like now as a newly married woman, which is different than…
- It will look like with a new baby, which is different than…
- It will look like with more kids, which is different than…
- It will look like with an empty nest.
So the next couple of blog posts or more will be me “thinking out loud” on my thoughts surrounding being the despot of the oikos.
What’s being the despot mean in general?
In general, I take the Bible to mean 2 things:
1) That it’s women, not men, who are to be the ones to manage their homes. (Unless, you know he’s a single man who lives alone, then he’ll need to do it!)
2) That it isn’t really optional that women do it.
What is a home?
I haven’t found a definitive list of what the home encompasses. Is it:
- Just the physical structure of the place you live?
- The yard the house is on?
- All the items found in the home?
- Organizing the schedules of the people in the home?
- The cooking and cleaning that goes on in the home?
- The child rearing?
- The family budget?
To me, I define it as pretty much all of that – except for the child rearing. Child rearing is definitely done by mothers, but I believe child rearing to be the duty of both parents, not exclusively the wives and mothers. I don’t consider that as something a wife does because she’s the despot. For me, being the despot of my oikos means that I am responsible for:
- Cooking and cleaning
- Organizing the home
- Maintaining the home (yes, even yard work and snow removal and changing light bulbs and furnace filters and staining floors and installing trim)
- Our schedules
- The budget
That seems like a lot, doesn’t it? And maybe to some of you, that seems really boring. Maybe it seems like you’re a slave given a fancy name like ‘wife’. But it doesn’t have to be that way. It isn’t meant to be that way. I’ll explain more this week on what it does mean (to me). Your opinion might very be different from mine – and that’s okay!