What was your parent’s relationship like? I don’t mean what’s it like today. I don’t even mean what it was like 10 years ago. Or what it was like when you were a little girl. But what was it like when they first started dating?
My mother’s love story isn’t similar to mine. My mom was a freshman in high school dating a senior. She graduated in 3 years in order to get married sooner. She graduated in May 1977, turned 18 that August, married that September. Dad had since graduated and was starting his own business as a drywaller. They were married for 2 years when the children started coming. 6 years later, she had 3. Two years after that, just shy of 10 years of marriage, she was widowed.
I didn’t meet my husband until after I had gone to college, graduated, worked in corporate life for years. I met him when I was 28, started dating at 29, engaged at 30, almost 31 when we married. My story is just so different from hers.
I was so young (8) when my father died that I didn’t learn too much first hand from their relationship, but that’s not what this is about. Sometimes, I think it would’ve been fun to have been in high school with my mom and dad and seen the start of their relationship. I can only imagine how young and immature she would’ve been then, compared to the mom I know. I knew she had looked for someone with the same family background and the same faith. What else did she look for? She knew that my father wasn’t a perfect man, so were there certain visions or expectations she had in a relationship that she had to “get over”? What were their favorite dates? How did their families meet for the first time?
How about your parents? Or how about another couple that you’re close to? What were the early days of their relationship like? What hang ups did they have to get over and deal with? What qualities were they looking for in a spouse? Were there hurdles that they had conquer?
You don’t want to over-romanticize everything in life, but there is wisdom in learning from others. Your love story probably won’t look like theirs, but there are things to be learned from godly marriages and how they got there.