Mars Hill recently had an article written by a wife who pointed out 7 different things she learned about marriage while taking swing dance lessons with her husband. Here’s my reaction to point 5.
5. Don’t compare to the couple dancing next to you.
Phil has a very calm, cool, understated manner about him in life and on the dance floor. He is not the guy with the flashy moves and crazy stunts, but I do know what I can expect from him: he is consistent. Our teacher complimented him on his smoothness and I would miss it if I’m looking around to see how good we look compared to the next couple.
God has called us to our particular rhythm, tempo and moves for our marriage. We don’t get to dance to someone else’s song.
I can relate to this one as well – comparing myself. I don’t so much compare my marriage to another person’s marriage. Not so much because I’m good in this area, but mostly because I don’t know too many other people’s marriages. This will probably change as we meet more married couples. Right now most of our friends are still single.
But I do know the trap of comparing myself to other women. I want to be a great cook like Bonnie. I want to love my husband as well as Renee loves hers. I want to look beautiful and be creative like Karin. I want to be as good a mother as Tesa is. As a single, I often compared myself to other single women. Now marriage has just given me another area to do that in. And I gotta stop otherwise I won’t rejoice in the things that I do have.
She was so right — “We don’t get to dance to someone else’s song.” Who wants to? I have a great song!
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