To help men date well, I surveyed several women and got their opinion on things that their (current or previous) boyfriend/fiancé/husband did well in their relationships. They shared their tips with me, knowing that I was going to pass them on (anonymously) to men that might be interested.
I asked them to be specific whenever possible – it isn’t immensely helpful to hear “men should lead well”. That seems too vague. What does “leading well” look like, specifically? Practically. I wanted ideas of what could do. Advice on how to make the theoretical and put it into practice.
Here is the seventh part of their tips for when “in a relationship”. Enjoy!
- Know your Bible. Don’t even think of asking a woman out until you have read through it at least once. If you haven’t read through it, why not? What is so important in your kingdom that keeps you from being a part of God’s Kingdom?
- Be willing to serve her. You don’t have to be her slave right away, in fact that would be just creepy. But as you grow closer you should find a tension between serving her and your own selfish desires. That’s good. God is sanctifying you.
- Take the initiative: To ask her out, to establish the pace and God honoring tone of the relationship, to pray before meals, to study the scriptures and talk about them together (seriously, this would be an example of a great leader), to bring up the ‘where are we talks’ (or more like ‘where aren’t we’).
- Reassuring her of where you are at even if that is just dating without a commitment will help her submit to your leading. You can be at the “seeing if this even makes sense” stage, or the “we are dating more seriously, but I am worried that we are not growing closer” stage. This leaves fewer hurt feelings when a relationship does not work out.
- The woman you are dating is a sinner. If you see an area that she needs the Holy Spirit’s sanctification, approach her about it with tenderness. This can be done through asking questions and praying in your quiet time for her in this area. Honestly, I have the most respect for men who lovingly brought forth an area of growth for me.