To help men date well, I surveyed several women and got their opinion on things that their (current or previous) boyfriend/fiancé/husband did well in their relationships. They shared their tips with me, knowing that I was going to pass them on (anonymously) to men that might be interested.
I asked them to be specific whenever possible – it isn’t immensely helpful to hear “men should lead well”. That seems too vague. What does “leading well” look like, specifically? Practically. I wanted ideas of what could do. Advice on how to make the theoretical and put it into practice.
Here is the sixth part of their tips for when “in a relationship”. Enjoy!
- I found dating previously frustrating: the man did not communicate what he was looking for or being upfront on where things were going. I, as a woman, would read into things all the time and wondered what things meant. It left me frustrated. Also some men come off too strong and after a few dates think of marriage right away.
- He initiated the “tough” conversations about boundaries, spiritual/moral beliefs…showed me that he was able bring up things that are not as easy to talk about and not shy away from them.
- He asks me occasionally what we can work on together in our relationship to see God move.
- He prayed before dinner when we were at a restaurant. During the prayer he asked God to bless our time together.
- During a disagreement, he suggested we each take some time to write out our thoughts/feelings. We then shared with each other what we wrote. It defused our emotions and helped us understand each other.
- At an appropriate time, we shared about our past relationships and were able to tell each other that we could live with each other’s pasts.
- He would read articles on different websites occasionally (boundless or other Christian blogs) and use that as conversation starters – even on topics that didn’t seem to impact us right then and there. But it helped because I think we talked about some topics before we encountered the opportunity for problems.
- He’s initiated the difficult conversations that we’ve had to have (in appropriate timings) – sex, finances, families, etc.