To help men date well, I surveyed several women and got their opinion on things that their (current or previous) boyfriend/fiancé/husband did well in their relationships. They shared their tips with me, knowing that I was going to pass them on (anonymously) to men that might be interested.
I asked them to be specific whenever possible – it isn’t immensely helpful to hear “men should lead well”. That seems too vague. What does “leading well” look like, specifically? Practically. I wanted ideas of what could do. Advice on how to make the theoretical and put it into practice.
Here is the fourth part of their tips for when “in a relationship”. Enjoy!
- He prayed with me during dinner, but didn’t use prayer as a way of “manipulating” me.
- He told me up front that he wouldn’t say “I Love You” until we were engaged. That he would save that for the person he was going to marry. Helped me to not feel nervous that at 6 months in, he hadn’t said it. Which helped me when we broke up.
- He told me from the get go that this relationship was to see if we could get married and not just for fun.
- He made sure we had plenty of time together, but not too much. He would ask occasionally if we were spending too little or too much time together. Helped me to not feel smothered and also gave me an opening to say that I needed to see him more.
- Very much the leader in keeping God in the center of our relationship – he initiated a week long fast from each other every 8 weeks or so at the beginning of our relationship, just so we didn’t get caught up in each other and put God on the back burner.
- We double dated every so often, so that we could develop ‘couple friends’, which was good at times because it was a way to date, but also be with other people. We talked about the couple we were double dating with first because we didn’t want to get into a situation where I didn’t want to go. Or we’d talk about the date to remind each other that we weren’t the same as the other couple – they may have been further along in their relationship than we were, so we could manage our expectations.