To help men date well, I surveyed several women and got their opinion on things that their (current or previous) boyfriend/fiancé/husband did well in their relationships. They shared their tips with me, knowing that I was going to pass them on (anonymously) to men that might be interested.
I asked them to be specific whenever possible – it isn’t immensely helpful to hear “men should lead well”. That seems too vague. What does “leading well” look like, specifically? Practically. I wanted ideas of what could do. Advice on how to make the theoretical and put it into practice.
Here is the third part of their tips for when “in a relationship”. Enjoy!
- He planned most of our dates early on. I didn’t feel responsible for the plans or that I was telling him ways that he had to spend money on me.
- He made sure we had some “one-on-one” time, but also had lots of group events – even if the group events were 4 people.
- He was mindful of the fact that while he had been thinking of asking me out for a year, I didn’t have nearly as much notice and needed to take some time to think through things.
- As we talked about marriage issues, he always clarified to say “if we got married” or “if you were to get married” rather than talk about it like it was going to happen. And he limited those kinds of questions to just the really high level stuff until we were engaged. Kept me from mentally planning our wedding and our future together ‘til it was time.
- 90% of the time, he has things planned and thought out, but he’s always interested in my opinion and up for incorporating my ideas.
- He calls me when he says he’s going to be late, give or take 10 minutes. If he gets held up somewhere he texts me to tell me he’ll be late, so I’m not thinking he’s in a car accident or something.
- He likes to ask me some deep questions and really is interested in my response.
- He told me up front that his intent was to determine if we could get married, not solely to have fun. Although we’ve had lots of fun!