To help men date well, I surveyed several women and got their opinion on things that their (current or previous) boyfriend/fiancé/husband did well in their relationships. They shared their tips with me, knowing that I was going to pass them on (anonymously) to men that might be interested.
I asked them to be specific whenever possible – it isn’t immensely helpful to hear “men should lead well”. That seems too vague. What does “leading well” look like, specifically? Practically. I wanted ideas of what could do. Advice on how to make the theoretical and put it into practice.
Here is the first part of their tips for when “in a relationship”. Enjoy!
- I think all men should read passion and purity or the journals of Jim Elliot to get a feel for a man who is truly seeking God’s direction in his relationship.
- He’s not afraid to look like an idiot in front of some adults just to make some kids laugh.
- He opens my door for me.
- He helps me do the dishes after I cook a meal.
- Lets me take my time if I have something on my mind.
- He was able to communicate.
- If I was uncomfortable with something, he usually perceived it and asked me about it rather than ignoring it.
- Encourages me to talk about the things that we should probably talk about even if I am uncomfortable with it.
- In the times we were physically apart for a while, he called me and wrote me letters.
- He asked how he could pray for me.
- He was very careful who we compared ourselves to. Occasionally, we’d see a couple who had an aspect of their relationship that we admired, so we’d talk about how the Joneses really seemed to communicate well. But every so often, I’d say that I wanted to be more like the “Joe and Jane” (a couple that had been together for much longer and he’d remind me that we hadn’t been dating as long as Smiths, so we shouldn’t be spending as much time together as they are.