Normally on Mondays, Jeff & I go into Columbus (Jeff’s hometown) to have dinner with his family and for Jeff to go to jazz band practice. But this Monday, we didn’t go into Columbus because Jeff had a late conference call at work. After dinner at home, we set up a board game (Merchant of Venus!). Even before we started playing, Jeff asked “Why don’t we do this more often? I really like spending time with you. You’re fun.”
The thing is – we spend alot of time together. We have similiar schedules. We get up at the same time. We usually leave for work at the same time. We always go to bed together. With the exception of Jeff’s Bible Study on Tuesday nights and the 90 minutes he’s at jazz band practice on Monday nights, we’re usually together (when not at work). We’re just not alone.
In addition to Monday’s trip to Columbus, on Thursdays and Sundays, we get together with friends, have dinner and play games. There’s usually (but not always) something going on for Saturday – guy’s game day once a month, family Birthday party, date night, 5K training, something.
“Experts” used to say that it didn’t matter how much time you spent with someone – it just mattered if that time was “Quality”. Yeah, not me. I need both. “Quantity Time” is important because it gives us a connection to have friends and hobbies and activities and shared experiences together. It keeps us moving towards each other rather than away from each other.
The “Quality Time” that we have together is also really needed. The time we spend together alone is different than the time we spend together with others. Even if we’re doing the same activity that we’d do with others – watching a football game or play a board game. It’s just different. Our connection is strengthened that way too.
So…in your relationships (romantic or not), do you have enough Quality Time? Do you have enough Quantity Time? Both are needed.