Part 6 of what women should look for in a man, according the Bible’s qualities of an elder.
“An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not addicted to win or pugnacious, but gently, uncontentious, free from the love of money. He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?); and not a new convert, lest he become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he may not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil” (1 Tim. 3:2-7)
“…appoint elders in every city as I directed you, namely, if any man is above reproach, the husband of one wife, having children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion. For the overseer must be above reproach as God’s steward, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not addicted to wine, not pugnacious, not fond of sordid gain, but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, just, devout, self-controlled, holding fast the faithful word which is in accordance with the teaching, so that he will be able both to exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict. For there are many rebellious men, empty talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision, who must be silenced because they are upsetting whole families, teaching things they should not teach for the sake of sordid gain.” (Titus 1:5b-11)
A man with a good reputation among nonbelievers – Do even non-believers respect him? Maybe they don’t quite know why they respect him, but they should see examples of his kindness and his integrity and his honesty. His co-workers should respect his work ethic. He should be kind to all people, not just other believers or people that share his same viewpoints. Do his neighbors like him? Or is he the guy who annoys them with his loud music? Is he the guy who is rude to the waitress? Is he the man who says one thing (Jesus is important to me), but does another (insults others)?
Having children who believe – Chances are the man you’re interested in doesn’t have children, so you can’t really judge this one. But you can try to evaluate how he would be as a father. Each person must make a decision for Christ on his or her own, but Christian fathers should build an environment that communicates the gospel to his children. Is your boyfriend the type of man that will build that environment? It doesn’t mean that he has to have a plan NOW for how to train the 10 year old that he might have someday. But he should know that this is his job. This isn’t something that you delegate to others. Like the other qualities stated, is he able to teach basic spiritual truths to people? Is he patient?
Self-willed – To be self-willed or arrogant is the opposite of being gentle. He shouldn’t seek his way all the time, but rather a solution that serves both of your needs. He should be a servant. He looks at the whole situation, not just his piece of it. Again, it’s not “his way or the highway.”