Continuing on with the series on what women should look for in a man, here’s more qualities of an elder and what that means in today’s world.
“An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not addicted to win or pugnacious, but gently, uncontentious, free from the love of money. He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?); and not a new convert, lest he become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he may not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil” (1 Tim. 3:2-7)
“…appoint elders in every city as I directed you, namely, if any man is above reproach, the husband of one wife, having children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion. For the overseer must be above reproach as God’s steward, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not addicted to wine, not pugnacious, not fond of sordid gain, but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, just, devout, self-controlled, holding fast the faithful word which is in accordance with the teaching, so that he will be able both to exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict. For there are many rebellious men, empty talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision, who must be silenced because they are upsetting whole families, teaching things they should not teach for the sake of sordid gain.” (Titus 1:5b-11)
Temperate – Kind of a fancy word, but it means mental sobriety. It implies self-control, good judgment, stable, clear-headed. It doesn’t mean that he’s perfect at making decisions, but he is able to think through decisions logically. He isn’t prone to making decisions based upon short term goals only or on emotions. He doesn’t often make a decision, then reverse his decision minutes later.
Prudent/sensible – Prudent and sensible also stress self-control. He exercises good judgment. He shows discretion. He has common sense. A man you’re interested in should generally be wise and not given to flights of fancy or doing big and serious things on a whim. It doesn’t mean he’s not spontaneous, but he’s sensible. Example: He knows that he needs to pay his bills, so he doesn’t quit his job because he was a little tired one day or because his boss doesn’t like him. He doesn’t spend all his money on a vacation instead of spending it on rent or groceries. He doesn’t spend all his time playing football when he needs to study for finals.
Respectable – In general, people should respect him. His conduct should be that people think the best of him at all times. He should be respectful of others. He pays his bills. He doesn’t kick old people. He doesn’t mock others. He doesn’t tear others down.