Mars Hill had a post on: 3 Immature Wives … and 1 Godly Model. Her basic premise:
“But perpetual juvenile syndrome is no respecter of gender or marital status. Marriage itself does not mature a woman, and many young women are, much like the guys, allowed to prolong their immaturity, even after they’ve said “I do.””
She then identifies 3 “types” of women that are married, but not mature. Even though it’s an example of married women, I can see 2 of them being traps that single women fall into as well – dating or not.
“This woman is married yet relates to her husband as a girlfriend. She is romantically high-maintenance yet reserved and conditional with her affections. She remains emotionally available to other men and is known to flirt.”
A single woman can do this too to her boyfriend. Expecting him to be just like a woman – communicate like a woman, act like a woman. I’ve also seen single women be really available to all kinds of men – those she isn’t in a relationship with. And flirts?! We all know those! What are the likelihood that a flirt stops being a flirt just because she got married?
The Drama Queen
“This woman is always center stage and out of control. Rather than quietly serving her family, she loudly takes from them. She manipulates to get what she wants through scenes of affection, tears, screams and silence. Although her performance is Oscar-worthy, her children are actually afraid of and avoid her and her husband merely humors her. She frequently gets her way but is always miserable. And so is everyone else.”
We know women like this – regardless of their marital status. They’re grandstanders. They’re the ones who serve, but make sure you know it. Or seek to get their own way, regardless of the outcome or who else gets hurt. HIGH MAINTENANCE! Do drama queens stop being drama queens once they get married? Not usually!
Her solution? Find another type of woman. This type is called:
The Personal Trainer
“Jesus alone transforms Christian girls into godly women. But he does use people in the process. According to Titus 2:3-4, he uses older women to “train” the younger women as they grow in their maturity and their discipleship. In this sense, biblical womanhood is both taught and caught. These mature women step up and model what they have learned through a life on life approach. The babysitter, the nanny and the drama queen need to humbly raise their hands and ask for a personal trainer. This doesn’t have to be a formally structured ministry of the church. But it has to happen to avoid a having a community made up of boys who are duly becoming men while the girls never grow up.”
So, if there’s a character quality that you have, but don’t like, look for another woman who can help you with this. Don’t look for a man who can help you – but a woman. Only another woman can help you stop being a flirt or a drama queen.