One of the websites that I read every single day is Boundless.org. I have read it for years. Years. It’s a website by Focus on the Family, dedicated to singles.
On their recent podcast, they had a discussion on how guys can appear confident while dating rather than creepy. Someone asked my opinion on it and so, I thought about it. How can a guy appear confident? How can he avoid appearing creepy?
- Confident is suggesting menu items to her that she might like. Creepy is ordering for her without her input or any significant knowledge of her tastes.
- You could order something you might not normally like. That’d show an adventurous side (kind of loosely translates into confidence).
- Don’t be afraid to speak your opinion when asked. Don’t be a conversation hog, but if an opportunity comes up to express an opinion, give it. In Bible Study. At work. In a small group.
- Plan a small group event if you’re in one. The ability to come up with a plan and execute on it is always good.
- Make a decision. Particularly when a group of friends are standing around saying “What do you want to do.? “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” Having an answer or two is always good.
- Confident is having a plan (and possibly a back up plan) on your first few dates instead of saying: “I’ll do whatever you want to do.” Women hate that on the first date. We have to tell you where we want to go? It’s like telling you how much money to spend on us. Ick.
- When you start dating, call her. But not every day. You didn’t just become her entire world did you? She didn’t just become your entire world, did you? Too much too fast is creepy, in my opinion.
- Have as many conversations face to face as possible. It’s cowardly to define the relationship via facebook or text messaging. Confidence is saying to her face-to-face: “Will you be my girlfriend?”. Creepy is changing your relationship status to “In a relationship” and linking to her before you’ve asked her out.
- Offer to pray for her and do it. But be careful of this one: I’ve seen guys use prayer as a “we’re praying together, so we feel so much closer than we really are” kind of thing. Pray at dinner time. Pray when there’s a major crisis. Offer to pray for her, but be a little limiting on how much you pray together.
- Confident is inviting her into your world, your hobbies. Like to fly model airplanes? Invite her along. Like to go to area high school musicals? Invite her along. Creeping is know that she has 20 different hobbies and inviting yourself along to every one of them.
- Confident is being able to tell her: “This behavior bothers me. Or I wish we could change this.” Creepy is trying to get her to change without a conversation. That isn’t creepy as much as it is manipulation.
These are just my thoughts – do you have some?