I have a great love story. Really, I do. You know why? Cause it’s mine. So, to me, it’s great. To other people, they might not think it’s so great. Cause it’s kind of plain jane. There weren’t any great “I’m breaking up with you. Wait, no I’m not. Well, yes I am. Okay, I’m not.” drama-filled moments. There hasn’t been any “Let’s move to Costa Rica and have an adventure!” moments either. To some, it isn’t great because we dated for 11 whole months and were engaged for 9 whole months. Maybe they think couples should date for a much shorter amount of time. Others would say longer.
Some would say that it isn’t great because we didn’t get married til our 30s. Great love stories happen to those in college. Or just out of college. Or in high school even. And yet others would say that truly great love stories happen to the 80-year-old woman who finally marries her high school sweetheart after being seperated for 60+ years. (Okay, I concede, that is a great story!) But you know what? I’m pretty fond of my love story.
My sister and I were doing a Bible study (last year!) and one of the questions was along the lines of “List a miracle that you have seen God do in your life.” My answer: My marriage. Not in a “It was a really bad marriage, but God helped us turn it around” kind of way or even “I have the best marriage in the world!” kind of way either. But in a “I think it’s a miracle that I am actually married!” kind of way.
I was talking with a friend the other day who was recounting a date that she recently had been on. It was a first date and in her mind, the guy did every.single.thing wrong.
- He texted other people during dinner.
- He didn’t talk much to her dad when he came to pick her up.
- He talked on the phone with his mom when he was driving her home.
- He didn’t open her car door.
- The meal wasn’t enough food, but he didn’t address the issue by ordering more.
But she still felt like she should go on a second date with him. The reason why is the weird part to me. She wasn’t interested in him, but her reason for going on a second date is that she wants to get married. To get married, you need to be around marry-able men. So she felt that she had to continue on with the relationship, not because she was interested or because she was willing to give a second chance, but because no dates = no marriage.
To be fair to the gentleman, she also admitted:
- She didn’t tell him that he was picking her up at her parent’s house. He knows that she lives with a female roommate and that’s the address he thought he was going to. When her dad answered the door, ir really threw him off.
- She didn’t ask him to open her car door. She just stood outside her side of the car until he got the hint, got out of the car and then opened her door.
At any rate, it wasn’t a good first date. I’m guessing neither one of them left thinking “Wow, that went well!” (To be honest, I do think there’s a time and a place to give a relationship a second chance (or even a long first chance), but I also don’t think you have to go on a second date when you don’t really like the guy and he doesn’t really appear to be that into you either.)
She wished that she could have a simple love story like I did. What she doesn’t know is that while my love story is pretty simple, it still had awkwardness. It still had weird moments and uncomfortable conversations. It’s a relationship – that happens.
I’ve written far more today than I’ve meant to — I really just meant to say: Relationships have wacky moments. All of them do. (Well, assuming you’re closer than near strangers to each other.) Over the next while (days? weeks? months?), I’ll share some of my love story and show you the wackiness. Simply because knowing what one other couple went through can help you with your story. Not because your story will look like mine, but because you should know that we’re normal. I don’t have them all written or anything, so don’t expect them all this week — this will be an “As I get time” kind of thing.
But I’m excited to start this endeavor!