First year #10: I married a man

I married a man.

I know, you could tell that from the wedding pictures.  Jayme = girl.  Jeff = boy.  When I say I married a man, I don’t mean that in the ‘he burps and grunts and snores’ kind of way.  I mean that in my husband is a man and I can’t expect him to be a woman.

Call me sexist or whatever, but men are men and women are women.  And generally, they communicate differently.  They think about different things.  They notice different things.  They worry about different things.  They approach decisions differently.  They have different priorities.

When something goes wrong, he is the first person that I want to talk to.  But he doesn’t react the same way that a girlfriend would.  He’ll ask me how I felt, what I’m worried about, but that’s about it.  He doesn’t draw me out like another woman would.  Why doesn’t he?  Is it because he’s clueless?  Hardly!

It’s because his thought process isn’t the same as another woman’s.  While he tries to put himself in my shoes, he just can’t quite get there all the time.  His frame of reference is just different from mine.  Not better.  Not worse.  Different.

And different is good!  Different means:

• We invest in different funds than I would have.
• Buying the car that we did.
• Looking for different things in an apartment.
• Diverse hobbies.

All of our differences aren’t due to gender.  He’s from a different hometown than I am.  He’s 3 years older.  He’s had a different career field.  He’s had different life experiences than I have.  But a lot of differences are because of gender.  And that’s great!

Jeff is still my first phone call or first conversation.  But when I want someone to think through a situation like a woman would, I call my mom or my sister!

Related post:  He must draw me out!

Playing board games. Brad and Jeff were upset that I won.

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